Saturday 17 October 2015

pain

there is no word could describe the pain in me

in the end, he sees me as evil who does everything cunning and insane

but from the very beginning, all i want him to see is the good and love in me

the most fear, most painful, he sees me like this...

i didnt do it

it is something he'd hate most, why would i do something he hates most

what can i do to prove? whatever i do or didnt do, if he didnt believe in me... so what else can i prove?

this pain is killing me, i wish it can kill me or he can kill me

end this suffering


2 comments:

16 said...

Hey Vivien, I don't exactly know what to say. I think sometimes some groundless misunderstanding or miscommunication can really ruin everything. I guess I can understand how you feel and what you are going through. It hurts when our good intentions not only fail to get us what we want but backfire. I won't say cliche like "Cheer up" or "You'll be fine". But I want you to know that we or at least I do understand how much it hurts. You're certainly not alone in this. Hugs.

vivilambie said...

Viviana, thank you for your understanding. Yes it really hurts that the impression he perceived is something I never did and never wanted to be. The painful and sad thing is, this perceived impression of someone towards you is extremely difficult to change or never can be changed. No matter how hard I wanna explain, I'll be forever in his eyes carrying such nasty personalities. I understand I should take the action, focus on being myself, help myself out and shouldn't care his thought. But I do care... I care so much...