心理病。業障

「第二種是冤業病。這不是生理病，是冤家債主附身，這個事情很麻煩。現在中國外國都很多，搞得你神魂顛倒神經不正常，很痛苦。這些多半都走向精神病院，現在醫生講「精神分裂」，這個是冤家債主找上身。」 - 淨空法師

冤親債主都是拿了領牌來討債的，這個沒有人沒有菩薩救得了

都要看「我」... 要誦經, 要懺悔, 要調解... 誠心道歉, 永不再犯

不能說「我想死」, 很多求生的眾生在暗處聽了, 都急不及待跟隨你要了你的命

「我觀是閻浮眾生。舉心動念，無非是罪。」 - 地藏菩薩本願經

管說話, 更要管念頭

要相信唸經、懺悔、放生、持素、等等一切都是幫助, 不是一時三刻, 要耐性, 要相信

要救渡自己, 自己強大了才可以幫助其他眾生

pain

there is no word could describe the pain in me

in the end, he sees me as evil who does everything cunning and insane

but from the very beginning, all i want him to see is the good and love in me

the most fear, most painful, he sees me like this...

i didnt do it

it is something he'd hate most, why would i do something he hates most

what can i do to prove? whatever i do or didnt do, if he didnt believe in me... so what else can i prove?

this pain is killing me, i wish it can kill me or he can kill me

end this suffering